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I think there are more people in the Worlds Stadium than I’ve ever seen in one place. “The Tuvarian team is in our session,” Coach Eleasea explains when Erena asks why the stadium is full for prelims.

Music blares from the speakers as we march in, right behind the Tuvarians. They’re wearing white warmups with flame-like spikes of the other colors of their flags. Ours are the drab blue and green ones with a white “Rhetia” embroidered in the Versa alphabet on the back. Both coaches are wearing the same warmups.

My Modern Versa is nowhere near good enough to make out what the announcers are saying, but I salute when I hear, “From the Kingdom of the Rhetian Islands, Cena Cae and Erena Nato.” There is a modest cheer from the crowd, nothing like the Tuvarians who receive a deafening cheer.

We start on Bars with three other gymnasts who qualified individually. After the warmup, Coach Eleasea pulls us both aside as we won’t be competing right away. Our order was determined by a draw.

“The crowd is clearly pulling for their hometown heroes. Now, that might be distracting, but it doesn’t need to be. When I became the World Champion, the Korrosi crowd was doing the same thing. There will be loud cheers at inappropriate times. You must tune it out. Perhaps I ought to have prepared you more for this possibility, but I thought you’d be in a different session until it was too late.”

Coach Narita nods. “Also, remember, that no matter how you do, you are the first Rhetians to compete at a World Championship in sixteen years. Just making it here is a big highlight for everyone. Now, get out there and compete! I’m so proud of you both.” Coach Narita wipes a tear from her eyes.

When it’s my turn on Bars, I try to follow what Coach Eleasea suggest, but the loud crowd distracts me and I miss a release, falling to the hard mats below.

Coach Narita comes up to me. “Now, get back up there. Finish the routine.”

I do. When I land, there is a lot of booing. One of the Tuvarian gymnasts’ scores must have come up.

Erena has no such problems. She has definitely improved under Coach Eleasea’s tutelage.

I’m first on Beam, which is actually nice since the Tuvarians haven’t finished warming up yet. I move through my routine mechanically, holding each handstand and press for the required amount of time. I stay on in my backhandspring to three layouts sequence, though I nearly fall off on my ring leap. My final connection before my dismount, the front tuck to sheep jump, is solid. I set up for my dismount and nearly stick the landing. The Tuvarian crowd is just starting to cheer for one of their gymnasts, but I’m off the beam.

Erena’s routine scores even higher than me, probably because she didn’t have the big wobble. It might have been nice to score higher than her, for once, especially since it is probably my last set of routines. I realize, a little late, that with the bars fall, I won’t make the all-around final, or the bars final. I doubt I scored high enough to make the beam final, since now there are gymnasts from every continental division, rather than just one. Bars and beam have always been my best events.

Floor goes okay. I stick my vault. Afterwards, I look at the scoreboard, which flashes between different event leaders. Erena is still yet to go, as well as some Tuvarian and other top-country gymnasts. I am twenty-second in the all-around with the “extra” gymnasts taken out—the top twenty-four, but only two per country, will make it. My scores don’t show up for vault, bars, or floor, but I’m listed as seventh on beam.

“Most countries save their best gymnasts for last, so don’t get too excited yet, Cena,” Coach Eleasea says. Coach Narita is with Erena, who’s about to vault. “Also, once the scores are posted for the girl on floor and for Erena, you’ll be pretty much out of the all-around final. I think Tuvaria has that last girl competing all four.”

“What about beam?”

“There are two scores left to be posted.” Coach Eleasea sighs. “Cena, you’ve worked very hard. These gymnasts have had many advantages you haven’t had. Their countries support their gymnastics and athletics programs in ways that Rhetia can’t. You’ve no doubt inspired many others.”

Everything is suddenly too much for me, and I walk away. I put my warmups on mechanically, trying to keep the tears from rushing out of my eyes.

I know I didn’t think much of the Worlds, or what it meant. I didn’t really care until now, now when it’s too late. Coach Eleasea is wrong. I could have worked harder. I could have been working harder my entire career. I thought I was good at following direction, good at listening. But surely if I was, wouldn’t I have had better tumbling? A more difficult vault?

Also, Coach Eleasea is very wrong. I haven’t inspired anyone, and I never will.  I’m not the type. And I don’t care to be. Maybe I’m selfish, but I just don’t care about any other gymnast.

Suddenly, Erena comes over to hug me. “We did it!” she yells.

“What did we do?”

Erena just points to the scoreboard. “You can read Modern Versa, can’t you? Look, look! We both made the beam final!”

“What about all-around?” I ask her, realizing I missed her vault.

Erena shrugs. “I definitely made it. I hope you do, too!”

She’s just realized that I am, like Eleasea predicted, sitting in the final place.